It has always amazed me how people that are very close to each other, are even bonded with blood ties, drift apart for the most trivial reason simply because of a lack of open communication. I believe that the perceptions that each of us have about a certain thing is mostly shaped by our past experiences. Just as our experiences differ, our perceptions of things can differ in the same way. Have you ever been in a situation in which the behavior of a person close to you is suddenly changed for the worse for some reason you are not quite able to figure out? You might attempt to get some reason out of this behavior change either by nagging the other person to provide some explanations or by tormenting your brain by going through all the possible justifications that might have brought this behavior change. I never quite understood how some people expect you to understand what is bothering them without them providing any clear explanations.
A friend of mine showed me once an abstract picture with optical illusions in which one can see both an old woman and a young woman in the same picture. Whether you easily spot the young or the old woman in the abstract picture depends on the type of picture you are presented with before looking at the abstract picture. If one is presented first with a picture that clearly shows the young woman, then this person will more easily spot the young woman in the abstract picture that is presented to him or her next. The reverse applies if the person is presented first with a picture that clearly shows the old woman. This trick is a perfect illustration of how much our perceptions of things can depend on our past experiences and that each of us have a justification for our perceptions and actions. The point I want to make here is that, unless a person tries to understand the though process of the other person and how the other person came by to a decision to say or do something, then the tie that bonded these two individuals is likely to go loose. But how can a person’s though process and decisions be understood unless that person is not willing to speak up? Nobody is able to read another person’s mind! Of course it takes at least two to communicate. If a person is not given the opportunity to speak up, to be listened and be understood, one is better off keeping to themselves about their thoughts and decisions.
Open communication is usually prescribed for a smooth marital life and the lack thereof is generally associated with an increased rate of separations. I say the lack of open communication is not only a problem of marital lives. I believe that the culture of open communication is something that should be nurtured in all aspects of life. Be it in a student-teacher, business-client, lawyer-client, employer-employee, colleague to colleague or government-society relationships, an open, honest and clear communication is key for a smooth and functioning interaction.
How many times did you have to return to a governmental office and each time been told to return next time with another set of documents which you were not informed to bring in your previous visit? How many times did you have to visit a bank informing them to reimburse cash that was taken from you due to a faulty ATM machine? How many times did you have to call a business to check if your order of certain product is ready for collection? A clear communication between you and these institutions would have spared you so much frustration, wasted energy, time and money.
